Moving to Joyfulness!

We have been talking about Joy.  Here are the main ideas of what we have covered so far:   Joy – Authentic Joy comes from God and is found in God. The source is God and that is where you need to look. The starting point for the having joy in our lives begins with God.  Joy is not a one time choice but a choice that you need to make daily and many times on most days!  Make the choice now to live in Christ and to allow Christ to live in you and you will be making the choice for joy.

Here are a few more thoughts on some things we can do that will help keep us focused on being joyful.  These are areas that if we do them – we will find ourselves being much more joyful. 

Let us remember these things:

Invite God to be a part of everything you do – 1 Corinthians 10:31 says, Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. If you are doing everything to God’s glory then you will find true joy. You will feel true joy when you are serving God in everything that you do! When you are doing it to His glory, you are asking Him to be a part of it. Never lose the focus of everything in this life is to be done with God in focus. That goes from the trivial things in life like eating and drinking to the majors in life and everything in between. Joy comes daily, when you daily do all for God.

Do not complain! – People who complain are people who do not have joy. The funny thing is that most people do not see themselves as complainers. Complainers are people who put their eyes on circumstance rather than on God. When your eyes are on the circumstances you are not making a good choice – you are not choosing joy! The bible in Philippians 2:14 says, Do all things without complaining and disputing,. The Old Testament has some harsh things happen to those who complain. Take some time later and look up the snakes biting the children of Israel in Numbers 21, why because they were complaining.

Just like joy being contagious, so is complaining. That is why I believe that God deals with it so harshly. If you complain about work do see others joining in? Yes, because most people have programmed their brains to see the negative and complain, not to see the positive and find joy in it. When things at home, work, church, or anywhere else do not go your way, what do you do? Do you choose Joy or do you complain. Most if they are honest will say they complain. To get past this you need to begin to focus in on the joys instead of everything that is wrong. The more you focus you energy on the joys of life the more joy you will feel in life.

Events are opportunities see God – Instead of getting down and depressed about things that happen in your life. Look and find God, he can be found in the most unexpected places. When bad things happen we can get upset and be miserable and begin to rob joy from others or we can be over comers. John 4:4 tells us, You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. Then in Romans we read this: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:21).

When we come across hard times it is our chance to overcome the evil that is around us with the good of Christ. When that happens you will feel a sense of joy that is unexplainable.

People are Special – Jesus in his ministry was all about people. Jesus built relationships with people. Jesus understood that people are special and that they are the ones that bring joy. True joy is found in relationships, in building, making, and keeping relationships.  A life without relationships is a life without joy.

The goal is to live a life of joy. This is possible and it is a choice that we choose each and every day.

We begin by making the choice for a good day. Then we ask God to be a part of everything that we do and we do everything to his glory. We do not complain because that robs us of joy but we see that we are to overcome the problems. Finally we see that people and relationship are special and they are where joy can spring.  When we do these things we will find ourselves much more joyful.

Let us all make the choice right now to be joyful on a daily basis so that joy spreads rather than complaining!

Which one of the things I mentioned today (inviting God to be a part of everything, not complaining, events are opportunities, and people are special) do you have the most difficult time with and why do you think that is?

Choosing Joy

We started talking about Joy yesterday.  Here the main idea of what we talked about:  Joy – Authentic Joy comes from God and is found in God. You want joy – I mean do you really want authentic joy? The source is God and that is where you need to look. The starting point for the journey we are taking to find joy begins with God.  Joy is not a one time choice but a choice that you need to make daily and many times on most days!  Make the choice now to live in Christ and to allow Christ to live in you and you will be making the choice for joy.

But how do I live a joyfully every day and how do I bring that joy to others? That will be what we talk about today.

“Joy is contagious.
It can spread like a forest fire, whipped by a high, hot wind.
Joy can be shared in a crowd.
Or it can be savored all alone.
Joy can bellow.
Or it can fall soft as a kitten’s tread.
Joy can excite.
Or it can comfort.
Joy can be sensuous.
Or it can spring from the intellect.
Joy can bewitch.
Joy can be sweet.
Or it can be zesty, euphoric, giddy.
It can teach. It can heal. It can lay to rest old pain.
In a world so darkened by suffering and uncertainty, joy can brighten our heavens
and make life worth living all over again.” - Philip B. Kunhardt Jr., The Many Faces of Joy

I choose joy… I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical… the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God. – Max Lucado

One of the things I want you to understand is that joy is a choice. It is a choice that you can make daily or it is a choice you can choose to not make. The question is how can you make the choice to be joyful on a daily basis?

Let us look at one way today on how we be be joyful on a daily basis and we will look at more tomorrow.  The one way today  we will look at is something we have already talked about and it is:

Choose to be joyful – We were all born with a free will. We have the freedom to choose whatever it is that we want to do, whether good or bad. Therefore, since we have the power to choose, we have the power to choose if we will be joyful or not. We can not choose every circumstance that we go through but we can choose the attitude that we have when we go through it, One of my favorite quotes of all time is “… everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s own attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” – Viktor Frankl

Let me give you some background on this quote. Frankl was a Jewish psychologist locked up in a concentration camp. The quote that is made is made about those that he found were the ones who were able to make it through such a terrible time; they choose to have a good attitude in a terrible situation.

Again, as we look at joy and being joyful on a daily basis, we can see that our attitude plays a large part.  Two verses that we need to think about on this are:  Philippians 4:4 which says “Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice”  and the other  verse is Psalms 118:24 which says “This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Today regardless of what you are going through you can choose to be joyful!

How often do you find yourself choosing joy?  What is the hardest part of choosing joy for you?

Consider Joy

What is Joy? How is it different from happiness or are they the same? Do you experience joy in your life on a daily basis? What are the secrets to joy? How can you have joy in hard times? What are the sources of Joy? How do you deal with joy robbers? Do you find joy in relationships? Do you bring joy to other people? What is authentic joy?

There are a lot of questions here, things that we need to wrestle with and throughout this week I will look into these questions. I believe that most of people live in some false fantasy world of what joy is and never really feel true joy. I also believe that when people do find it they allow others to come in and rob if from them right away.

Consider this statement I came across: One of the greatest marketing strategies ever employed is to position the kingdom of Satan as the place where the fun is and the kingdom of God as the place of gloom and misery.

Consider the at basic question:  What is Joy?

1. The emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires
2. A state of happiness
3. A source or cause of delight

C.S.Lewis defined Christian joy this way: Joy has to do with the deepest longings of the human heart. The satisfying of our innermost, soul’s desires. A desire that is stronger and deeper than any other longing.   And when that is fulfilled – then we have joy.

What then is joy? Is it a celebration, or a shout? You hear of joyful celebrations and shouts of joy. Are they really joy? The Bible says that the Joy of the Lord is our strength. Nehemiah 8:10 – Then he said to them, “Go, eat of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” If this is true then why are we so weak and lacking in joy? How did we get to the point where joy is not what we know but we focus and live in grief? Does it have to do with the circumstances of life?

Does joy depend on the circumstances of life that you are going through?

Consider these couple of examples from the Bible:

• Acts 16 – Paul and Silas were singing and praising God after being beaten and thrown in prison.
• Book of Philippians – Paul is in prison writing that we should rejoice in the Lord.

Joy is the fruit of a right relation with God. It is not something people can create by their own efforts. The Bible distinguishes joy from pleasure. The Greek word for pleasure is the word from which we get our word hedonism, the philosophy of self-centered pleasure-seeking. – Holman Bible Dictionary

Joy is not dependent upon the circumstances but it is a choice that is made. We choose to be either joyful or not. You have the power in the middle of circumstances to be joyful or not.  Happiness comes from situations and joy comes from some other place. That is why you can choose joy in the midst of the terrible situation. So then where  those other places it comes from?

Where does Joy come from?  Consider these verses from Psalms:

Psalms 16:11 – You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.

Psalm 43:4 – Then I will go to the altar of God, To God my exceeding joy; And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God.

Psalm 45:7 – You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; Therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of joy above Your fellows.

How do you define joy?  What is the greatest joy in your life? Where would you say joy comes from?

Evangelism Numbers and Thoughts

I did a message talking about evangelism and started thinking about numbers of people in the world that do not know Christ.  I then read something that kick started me down this path and these numbers have been ringing through my head.

So think about this:

There are about 7 billion people on Earth right now and the average life expectancy is about 70 years.

So if you divide 7 billion by 70 years you get 100 million and that on average would be how many people die in the world each year.

If you divide 100 million by 365 days you get 273,973 which are how many people die in the world each day.

If you divide 273,973 by 24 hours you get 11,416 people die each hour.

If you divide 11,416 by 60 minutes you get 190 people who die every minute.

If you divide 190 by 60 seconds you get approximately 3 people die every second.

Just think – the reality is that 3 people die in this world every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month of every year!

How many of them know Jesus? I am going to be very generous and say about 33 percent of those who die know Jesus. That means for every second that ticks on the clock 2 people go to hell and 1 person goes to heaven.

In the time that it took you to read this about 180 people died and went to hell.

That is the truth and that alone should motivate you to want to “Go” share with people who Jesus is and the difference He makes in life (Matthew 28:19).

If that does not convict your heart – you need to check yourself spiritually!

What keeps you from “going” to others?  When was the last time you shared your faith with anyone?

Quickness!

In James 1:19 we are told this: This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;

This verse is good on how to not be angry but it gives good advice on speaking too. We can learn to be slow to anger by first learning to be quick to hear and slow to speak. So much of our anger and wrath comes from being self-centered not others-centered. Being quick to hear which is listening to what others say which is a great way to be others-centered. Slow to speak or thinking before we say something is another way to be others-centered. It keeps coming back to this – if we want to be those who speak encouragement into the lives of others we must be centered on them. In conversations – listen then speak and it will save you a whole lot of anger! One other thing with this – when you listen – put yourself in the shoes of the other person. It helps to see life from a different perspective – but that is a whole different message.

Something else we have a habit of doing is not really listening to what the person is saying but we are building up our argument and not listening to or even hearing a single word they say. This again shows our self-centeredness and our having to win or dominate and shows that we do not care! In order to be a real encouragement to people, we need to make sure they know we care and truly listening is just one small way of showing it.

Your message is not only in what you say but in how you choose to say it. When you speak, how do you say things? What are you facial features like when you say things? The way you look makes all the difference if what you are saying is seen as encouraging or not. Your attitude when you are speaking and listening makes a difference to people also. It either helps or discourages how they hear what you are saying or if they believe you are really listening.  How you look and how you say things makes a huge difference in being encouraging!

Keep in mind Proverbs 15:1, A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath.

Then think about Proverbs 16: 23, 24 which say, A wise heart instructs its mouth and increases learning with its speech.  Pleasant words are a honeycomb: sweet to the taste and health to the body.

Someone once said, “You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.” If you want to be persuasive do not be abrasive. Kind words spoken with a genuine heart are sweet to the soul and healthy for the body for both the person saying the words and the ones to whom they are directed. How many of us like it when people speak with kindness? We all do. We like it because gentle and kind words are pleasant because they calm us, disarm us, and diffuse potentially explosive situations.

Let me ask though – do you come off as persuasive or abrasive? Do people say you are abrasive? He are some reasons people think others are abrasive, because of their choice of words – negative and harsh, vocal tone – sarcastic or mean, their attitude – rolling eyes and disingenuous looks, and their body language – crossed arms. So if you come off as abrasive to others it is time to begin to work on this – regardless your age. There is no excuse for being abrasive. People say – it is the way I am or the way I was born but that does no work because it is not how the Bible tells us we are to live. The Bible is not going to tell us to do something that is not possible for us to do which is to speak the truth in love and being abrasive is unloving, so put your excuse away and work hard on changing and being more persuasive than abrasive.

Kindness and gentleness, they go together. In the Galatians 5:22 we learn that kindness and gentleness are some of the fruits of the God’s Spirit – all the fruit of the Spirit are: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. What these all are is a byproduct of God’s living and working within us. If we have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and are filled with God’s Spirit then our lives should increasingly bear these fruits. Now here is the part for each of us to ponder and that is are fruit of the Spirit seen in my words. We need to ask ourselves are my words filled with or are my conversations fill with: Love? Joy? Peace? Patience? Kindness? Goodness? Gentleness? Faithfulness? Self-control? Are yours conversations filled with these?

Do you have anything else to add?  What would you say is the one fruit of the Spirit that you end up using the most in conversation?  Why do you think that is?

Encouragement by being quiet?

Let us start with this story I came across: There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

“Hello?” “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I’m at the mall 2 blocks from where you are and I saw a beautiful mink coat and it is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it – it is only $1,500.” “Okay” “Thanks and Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2011 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price of $60,000 … and since we need to trade in the BMW that we bought last year… well can I get it”  “Okay” “Great! Before we hang up, something else and it might seem like a lot all at one time, but I was looking over our finances and…well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beachfront property and it is only $950,000 which is a magnificent price, and I am sure we can buy it if we cash in some stocks… can we please get it” “Okay” “Thank you for all this, sweetie, I am so excited. I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!” The man hangs up, closes the phone’s flap and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present, “Does anyone know to whose cell phone this is?” I’ll bet someone wished that man had kept his mouth closed. There are times when it is best that nothing is said.

Sometimes the best communication we have is when there are no words. Words sometimes are not the best way to communicate and encourage – actually words can get us in trouble. There are times where no words are needed at all and sometimes we need to learn when to be quiet and sort out the things going on in our heads before we speak because we do not want to be known as “Someone whose mouth is always open and whose mind is always closed”. There is also the old saying, better to be thought of as a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

So what the thing that we need to see first is that sometimes the best way to be an encourager is to simply not say anything at all.

Look and think about these two verses from Proverbs:

Proverbs 10:19 – When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is wise.

Proverbs 21:23 – The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble

If we seek to be wise, we must learn to hold our tongue more often, or bite our tongue. Sometimes we try to be encouraging with our words and we blurt out the first thing that comes to our minds and instead of saying something encouraging, we end up saying something that is hurtful or certainly not the best. In those cases we always wish that we would have been wise and held our tongue. In other words we don’t just blurt out the first thing that comes to us because it is probably not going to be a word of encouragement. Normally when we blurt out what pops into our head it comes out as sarcastic or maybe cutting and does not sound genuine. For me – I have learned that the quicker I respond to someone, the greater the danger of using reckless words, and saying something harmful which will hurt the other person, and possibly hurt and/or ruin the relationship.

How about you, have you ever found yourself wishing you would have encouraged by being quiet?  Have you ever wished you held your tongue?

More tomorrow along these lines tomorrow…….

Thinking before we speak

Sometimes it is best we guard and think about what we say instead of just talking which can be seen in this story.

It was his first day on the job for Tom who was a new clerk in fruits and vegetable department of a super market. A lady came up to him and said she wanted to buy half of a head of lettuce. He tried to convince that it was not a good idea but she persisted so he said, “I’ll have to go back and talk to the produce manager.”

He went to the rear of the store to talk to the manager, not noticing that the woman was walking right behind him. When he got into the back of the store, he said to the manager, “There’s some stupid old bag out there who wants to buy half a head of lettuce. What should I tell her?”

Seeing the horrified look on the face of the manager, he turned saw the woman and then said, “And this nice lady wants to buy the other half of the head of lettuce. Will it be all right?” Considerably relieved with the result of Tom’s quick thinking, the manager looked at Tom and said, “That would be fine.”

Later in the day, the manager talked to Tom about his quick thinking but poor use of words. He then asked, “Where are you from Tom?” Tom replied, “I’m from Toronto, Canada, the home of beautiful hockey players and ugly women.” The manager looked at him and said, “My wife is from Toronto.” Tom responded, “Oh, what team did she play for?”

This leads us to the fact that we need to always need to think before we speak. When we think before we speak, we will save ourselves a whole lot of heartache and pain and we will more encouraging to those around us.

Proverbs 15:28 says, The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

Do you notice the word ponder here? Rarely do quickly spoken words have any thought behind them and therefore they rarely have any encouragement in them. If we would just think about our words before we open our mouth we would get in a lot less trouble and we would be all the more encouraging. This is such a simple principle but practiced so seldom.

Solomon in this Proverb tells us the righteous people consistently think about what they are going to say before they say it. The righteous measure their words carefully. Why do they do this? Because they understand once the words are out of our mouth we cannot put them back in.

There is such wisdom in thinking before we speak, because If we hold our tongue and think for a second we can ask ourselves, “is what I am about to say going to be said need to be said and is it going to be said with love and consideration for the other person and can it be said a better way?” If you cannot think of a better way to say it, the we must follow the modern day proverb that all of our parents taught us, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” In other words, the wise understand that you bite your tongue and keep your mouth closed until you think of a better response which reflects God’s commandment to speak in love to others as we would want them to speak to us.

How are you at thinking before you speak?  Is there a technique you use in thinking before you speak?  Anything else you wish to add in to this?

Rules when talking

Have you ever thought you knew the whole story when someone was talking but find out later you did not know even half the story?  Too often we allow our actions to be swayed by what we understand at the moment and we do not know the whole story. Sometimes we do not take the time to make sure we really understand what someone is saying. Sometimes we simply are not paying attention because many times we are more interested in what we have to tell others than we are in what they have to say to us. How many times have we talked to someone and knew exactly what we were going to say before we even began the discussion and never worried about anything they thought? We knew what we were going to tell them and not really discuss with them. What they had to say or what they really thought did not matter.

If you tend to dominate conversations spending more time talking than listening, you need to ask yourself why you do it. It is a serious question you need to ask figure out. Is it because you like the sound of your own voice? Is it because your words are more important? Is because you really do not care what other people have to say? I challenge you to think about why you have to dominate conversations. Whatever your reason you do it, you should understand that when you dominate conversations, you are subconsciously communicating to the other people that you care more about your affairs, your opinion, then you care about what others think or have to say. When you are one who dominates conversations, you are someone who at least in that area of life is self-centered.

The Bible does not teach us to be  self-centered but in Philippians 2:3-4 it teaches this, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

If we are truly looking out for the interests of others it means we will listen more than we talk. God has given us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Perhaps it is so we can listen twice as much as we talk? Make sure to listen to and hear what the person is saying before you say anything. One of the best ways to encourage others is not with our mouth but with our ears to listen to what they are saying.

Here are some nevers. Never speak over some or talk when they are talking – it is rude. There is a difference between an affirmation that you are listening and speaking over someone. Never whisper to someone else while someone is talking – it is rude. Wait for the person to be done then say what needs to be said because normally a whispering comment is not something that needs to be said. Never ask a question of someone and answer it yourself without giving them time to respond – it is rude. If you ask a question – listen to the answer.

If you really have a hard time not listening to what others have to say – I challenge you to practice this: try withholding your opinion in conversations unless someone specifically asks you for it. You only share what your opinion about something if someone asks for it – otherwise you listen and do not say anything. It will be a tough think but what it will do is help you learn to listen first and think before you speak. To succeed in any relationship we must master our mouth and that comes from holding our tongue, thinking before we speak, and listening more than we speak.

Do you ever struggle not really listening to what others have to say?  What are some ways you would suggest that someone work on this?  Any other thoughts you want to share or rules you want to share regarding talking?